Before I begin, I’m telling you what’s happening around me.
I’m sitting at Fore Coffee in *secret location in case I got famous and someone stalks me in the future* on a Tuesday evening, listening to Creep by Radiohead. Feeling the music and not trying to sing along. It’s a perfect time to be alive.
By reading the title you might think, “ew why so negative” “nobody cares” “are you proud after cutting someone off?” Well it’s okay if you think all that, sometimes I have that kind of negative thought to myself, too. And sometimes I’m not always sure I do the right things. And that’s where narratives come to play, there’s always justified reason why I do things I do.
First of all, I want to declare that I’m a firm believer of a thousand friends too few, one enemy too many. That’s why I’ve been living my life in peace with no fear of enemies. If I don’t like a person, I would try to avoid confrontation and possible interactions as much as possible. In case we share the same location, well I don’t mind to move, or you can always find ways to not meet him. By avoidance, I’ve actually I’ve reduced the chance of someone becoming my enemy. I’m not really sure is this is the right approach to life. But I’ve found my peace by not seeing and even realizing that person exists.
But life is not always that simple. People are divided into unlimited spectrums. And I don’t think it’s wise to categorize people into good and bad people. People are combination of both. And the only thing that matters is how we perceive them. That’s why in the previous paragraph, I don’t avoid bad person, I avoid someone I don’t like.
Back again to the title. Now I’d like to tell you what happened.
Okay, so in my case, I know this person since university, let’s call him Jeff. Jeff was an atheist but recently he found his way back to his religion, which is Flying Spaghetti religion. In his religion, they believe there’s an invisible and imperceptible Flying Spaghetti God that all-knowing, all-seeing, and all-everything. He had taken interest in my religion, buddhism. A few years ago, he asked question about buddhism and I answered as best as I can. Then we still connected and occasionally discussed about politics. One day, out of the blue, which was recently, he asked questions about buddhism.
He asked, “Our condition now is the fruit of our previous life’s deeds. Does that mean Buddha see poor people and be like, “it’s your own fault, because you did a bad thing in the past life”?”
I thought, yes Buddha will know the cause of poor people’s condition but Buddha will certainly doesn’t think about blaming anything.
I answered, “Yes. And sometimes there’s the follow up question: poverty breeds conditions that make people do crime, like stealing. While poor people are more difficult to do charity, it’s easier for rich people to do it. Does that mean Karmic law is cruel? If you do good things, after being reborn, it’s easier to do more good things, while if you do bad things, after being reborn, you gravitate towards doing more bad things? But the answer to these questions is: that’s how it is.”
Then he asked, “I see and I understand, but that’s not an excuse to hate poor people, right?”
I was confused but I wanted to know more what he meant, “Not at all, who said that poor people must be hated?”
He answered, “”It’s your own fault” “Take that, it’s because you did a bad thing.” those things Buddha said.”
At that point, I exploded. First of all, Buddha never said those things. Second, I don’t understand how realizing someone’s condition is a fruit of his previous life is an excuse to hate poor people. Reading his text feels like he imagined Buddha as a hateful being that hates poor people. Like all of a sudden, where does hating poor people come from?? What does that even mean? Do I even exist? I could have said words that might hurt him about his Flying Spaghetti God but I chose not to. Rather than making enemies, I usually just resort to making him not existing. It leads to more peace and less enemies.
Maybe you’re wondering why I suddenly get angry at this question. It’s harmless, after all. Well just a few days ago, we had a little debate about Buddhism in Myanmar. He used buddhist extremists in Myanmar to justify his Flying Spaghetti extremists. But to me it’s so incomparable. I forgot what happened next in the conversation but in the end we just held back with our own opinions.
Then I did a quick checklist about this person on my mind:
1. What is he in your life? A friend.
2. What has he done? He tried to undermine my religion.
3. And how does it make you feel? Anger.
4. Do you think you can forgive this person? Can’t.
*this account has been blocked*
and bye.
Yeah that’s the story. I’d be lying if I don’t sometimes wonder if I did the wrong thing. Maybe I should listen more, maybe there’s another perspective that I didn’t see, maybe I shouldn’t be so impulsive and block him right away. I shouldn’t do this every time there’s a disagreement because in the end I will have no friend. Maybe if I held back a little, I could have changed his mind.
But in the end, it already happened. And there’s also another side of me that knows he tried to make me feel shameful about what I believe, and that’s the core reason why I did what I did. Since it already happened, no point in wondering if I did the right thing or not, better move on to life.
Goofythinker 