10 years ago, I decided to cut my friend off because he was proud of taking advantage of his employer. Not a direct cut off, instead it was something like slowly drifting away.
I found that his value was troubling, and by doing so, he could have taken advantage of his friends and felt nothing, which I actually still believe.
But right now with my security about myself. I realized I shouldn’t be so judgy. After all, he was a good friend whom I shared so many similarities with.
In life I should become like a father. Forgiving. Accomodating. Self-sacrificing. Reliable.
If I deep dived about what’s going on inside my mind then, it was that I wasn’t going to let anyone become a threat to me. I needed to be safe. So I avoided potential dangers.
But it’s a little different to my schizophrenic friend. I cut him off because of his tendency to hurt himself. And a few times he had an emotional breakdown and smashing nearby things. If he can hurt himself, what’s stopping him from hurting other people? Well for this case, I’m still the same. Something in me tells me to back away. I hope he can survive it though.
I know this is of course not true. They are not more dangerous than normal people. But the scary thing is, they’re not in control.
Goofythinker 