I have noticed that people who do real work, are the ones neither “love” their job (and convincing themselves they love it) or hate their job (no shit.) They are the ones who show up, do what needs to be done, they do what the boss tells them to (about the job of course,) and then they’re done.
Maybe the people who are bad at their work compensate their incompetence by loving or hating their job, if that makes sense.
In my house we have a living stoic philosopher.
He is my father.
I think he is the most well made man in 21st century.
He has mastered anger management to the point where he very very rarely gets angry. He is only angry when necessary and when he wants to assert control. He never gives anger out wastefully. In other words, he never gets angry just to feel better, or out of lack of control.
All of those are learned. At his youth, he was full of anger until he learned how to manage his anger management. However, it caused him his depression. He told us it was because of work pressure, but I also think maybe holding anger contributed to it, too.
Other than his anger management, my father is definitely a thinker. He likes to have some alone time, which he said is his time to be with himself and contemplate. If you spare some time to have a talk with him, I’m sure it will be a great time for you. Although his prime time was probably around 5 years ago. Because it can’t be denied that age started to be unkind to him. I mean, he’s not as sharp.
Whenever I go to the temple (vihara,) I never feel any different. Basically all the bhantes teach us, I already know. To me, it is an easy common sense that everyone should have already known. Even worse, the things bhantes teach us, they tell us in slow motion. It bores the hell out of me (no offense, bhante, surely none taken if he is a true bhikkhu.)
And I do think we should treat bhantes just like a normal person. No need for ceremonial or acting too respectful to them. We should respect all people all the same, including them. No need to see and treat them as holy people. They are just the same as us, no wiser and holier than us, difference is, they chose to follow Buddha’s vinaya and spread his teachings. Please keep in mind that I’m not asking you to disrespect bhikkhus. The mindset that all bhikkhus are wiser and holier is one that has to be abolished. It all depends on each individuals.
In buddhism, I always practice Buddha’s teachings according to Buddha. I have a picture of how Buddha thinks and how Buddha behaves. And I always see Buddha as a stoic, very wise person, even I know deep down in my heart, Buddha doesn’t wish his followers (or Buddha would prefer, Dhamma followers) to be blinded by faith, by his own teachings. Buddha wanted his followers to not overly preach him, even, didn’t preach him at all. Buddha wanted his followers to find happiness, and the way to true happiness, he found, was through his teachings.
Although I mentioned in previous post I don’t believe in fiction books. Of course. Anyone shouldn’t believe in fiction books. Fiction books are fictional, after all. Even you should question history books, as it can be manipulated. Basically, always be skeptical and question everything. Only after you practice and you find it true, then you believe it. Even with this belief, you must note the conditions that precedes it.
I am a buddhist, and I have always been a buddhist since I was a child. It got down from my parents, although they don’t go to temple often. Maybe once a year, or sometimes don’t at all. They believe in Buddha’s teachings, in karma and in reincarnation.
And Buddha’s teaching has been engraved within me because in school we studied it.
Basically Buddha taught the humanity the way to true happiness. Buddha itself started his journey to solve all painful things in the world, sickness, old age, and death. And he found that for true happiness to be achieved, we practice meditation, until at a level, you can remove all wanting and wishing in heart. The meditation he practiced is where the magic happens. Without wanting and wishing, we are in a state of happiness, or in buddhism, we reach the state of Nibbana or Nirvana. And during his journey to spread his teachings, he also teaches philosophical things to regular daily goers who don’t wish to reach Nirvana about how to live their lives.
If you read teachings of the Buddha, all of them make sense. It doesn’t require you to believe in supernatural beings. All Buddha’s teaching can be practiced and proven. He is definitely a stoic. And somehow I think Buddha is secretly a poet.
This is one of the sutra that when I read this, I feel my eyes are teared up.
Some children were playing beside a river. They made castles of sand, and each child defended his castle and said, "This one is mine." They kept their castles separate and would not allow any mistakes about which was whose. When the castles were all finished, one child kicked over someone else's castle and completely destroyed it. The owner of the castle flew into a rage, pulled the other child's hair, struck him with his fist and bawled out, "He has spoiled my castle! Come along all of you and help me to punish him as he deserves." The others all came to his help. They beat the child with a stick and then stamped on him as he lay on the ground.... Then they went on playing in their sand castles, each saying, "This is mine; no one else may have it. Keep away! Don't touch my castle!" But evening came, it was getting dark and they all thought they ought to be going home. No one now cared what became of his castle. One child stamped on his, another pushed his over with both hands. Then they turned away and went back, each to his home.
I’m a very scientific person, I don’t believe in superstition, ghosts, and fiction books that most people believe. If someone tells me they can see ghosts, well I think he’s schizophrenic. And about seeing ghosts = schizophrenic, I have a theory (or more accurately, hypothesis,) that it’s just an oversensitivity. And this oversensitivity is applied towards everything, from electromagnetic waves, increase in humidity, for particles in air. And somehow this oversensitivity is easier translated into their vision, thus they see ghosts. Spare a minute to imagine an alien coming to earth, but they don’t have bodily organ to detect sound waves. It will be amusing to them that without seeing each other, people can communicate complicated things. This one is more likely like that. If you are one of the “gifted” kids, am I right?
All being said, I don’t believe 100% in what I said either, maybe just around 50%, it’s just one speculation I made about those people, which is unproven and shouldn’t be taken seriously.
There is also an MBTI test. Although scientific community has rebuked it because it is mostly useless as predictor for career success etc, I hold true in its truth partly because how much it resonates with me. What does it even mean? Well since I was little, I have found myself often misunderstood. The odd one out. Like how I am, people mostly don’t understand, and to be fair I don’t understand them. And when I first stumbled upon MBTI, after every test it came out differently, but in truth I am an INTP. My I, N, T, keeps changing in test, they’re mostly around 50% something, but my P is very strong (no pun intended.) The changes in my first 3 letters were because to adjust to society, I have been shaping myself, adapting to the environment I’m living in, because deep down I also have a need to be acknowledged.
At first I was just, oh I’m an INTP, what does it mean? And then after looking and searching on the internet, there were a lot of my strange behaviors, my way of thinking, of viewing things, how my analytical mind operates, how we see patterns better than everyone, it resonated a lot with an INTP. Suddenly I have a group of people who operates mostly in the same way as I did. It was a big deal to me at the time because of how eye-opening it was. Finally I’m not the weird one out anymore.
Being said that, if scientific community have decided that MBTI doesn’t really predict career success, I definitely agree. Because career success has a lot of deciding factors, not only MBTI. Even a very introverted person can become a very successful salesperson. For me myself, I never anchored to MBTI to make decisions, at all. Knowing MBTI is simply a bandage to my damaged soul who has been lonely for a very long time. Finally, someone understands me!
Usually I will stop right here, but I still want to do more yapping about MBTI related topic.
From my life, I have found I am easier to make friends with INTJs.
INTJs are mostly smart, intuitive, from the available informations, they can also predict more things. I find them to be intellectually challenging, they also know a whole lot of things. To be honest, I can’t find one negative thing about INTJs. Maybe if I should find one, it’s that they are quite rigid in determining what’s right and what’s wrong. Whereas for me, I always insert “intention” behind everything that is being done. Like for example, when someone is stereotyping certain races, for example Madurans for their behavior to steal metals, I will see into their intention. Do they mean to belittle certain race? Or are they simply pointing out their observation? To me the latter is acceptable, because I myself are a pattern seeker. Pattern exists. No use to pretend to deny them.
INFJs are also smart and have stronger intuition than me. Sometimes their prediction and guesses are so amazing you should imagine myself jaw-dropping at them multiple times. But in regard to emotions, most times they are a little bit too much for the emotionless me. Like often I don’t understand them. I mean, I understand how their emotions overwhelmed them. But I can’t relate to them. So mostly I am confused when for example they tell me their sad stories. And sometimes with them, I can’t be as comfortable as I am with an INTJ, because they are too sensitive and somehow I feel like they have high expectation about how they want to be treated. I like to make jokes and say some unserious things, and most INFJs take my words seriously. Maybe they put high value to words? In short, miscommunications often happen with them.
With fellow INTPs…… well not a lot to be said aside that they are too cold…. Am I? I feel like I’m pretty warm. Warmly cold? Coldly warm? I once read someone says that INTPs are warmest robots and INTJs are coldest humans. I think that’s true. If I try to look inside myself, I see two people, a child and an old man. The child is curious and full of wonder, and also likes to play a lot. The old man is wise, but also lazy, and he seems like he knows everything. Very rarely I make friends with INTPs. I don’t know why. Maybe their need to always be right somehow irritates me? Lmao the irony. Maybe I irritate people, too, I just don’t know it yet.
And then ENTPs. I think I will be good friends with this type. We balance and understand each other. I see them as the extroverted version of me. I think he will be perfect.
And finally come the S-types. I am frustrated a lot by this type. Sometimes when speaking with them, we are on different wavelengths. I feel like they are unable to see patterns. From available informations, they can’t figure things out. Too data based. If N-types are Leonardo da Vinci, then S-types are Raphael. If N-types are Albert Einstein, then S-types are his research assistant. They will be a good doer because they do everything data based, but a bad conceptor because they lack the creativity to invent things. Being said that, I think the best approach should be someone who balances his intuition with reality. Too N-types won’t get anything done and will make unrealistic concept. Too S-types lack creativity.
Okay, after much yapping, I think I am done writing about this (nonsense.)
A thing to be noted though, although I believe MBTI hold some truth, but I always make sure this knowledge doesn’t create prejudice. After all, our opinions about someone should be formed from someone’s actions, including their spoken words, written words, facial expressions, movements, opinions, things they have done, things they will do, and combinations of other things.
This is a question for all believers of any religion.
What if one day God finally shows Himself.
He is indeed all-powerful, all-knowing, almighty.
However, he is not benevolent. Malevolent, even.
He instructs us to do sacrifices, killing our children, and serving them to Him.
He instructs us to bid wars against each other.
However, God decides He will not take your free will.
You still have the ability to decide.
Will you still worship Him?
Your answer will determine whether,
you worship Him because He is good.
or
you worship Him because He is the strongest.
I don’t know if everyone else experienced this or not.
But I used to feel intimidated by cool looking people, by foreigners, by tall people (ridiculously tall,) by people in suits. It’s hard to explain what the feeling exactly feels like. If I try to put it into words, maybe it’s the feeling that they are better than me, and instead of feeling okay with it, I made an invisible defense mechanism, feeling threatened, or else.
And I don’t know when or how, but that feeling disappears now, at all. Like now, I don’t even think about them at all, because I know beneath all the attributes, they are humans just like me. The humans that do silly things, that are vulnerable, and want to have fun. Or is it maybe because of all the privileges that I have now? Having money makes you look at the world differently.
or maybe along the way, in my experiences, I learned about it.
I don’t like people who feel the need to look “strong.” Usually this character shows up in group setting, do you know one person who is so insecure that he always have to be right? That’s the kind of person I dislike. But strangely, if it’s only the two of us, suddenly that bad characteristic vanishes.
Why can’t we be humans and just have fun?
So I read a book “Concise Laws of Human Nature”
There, basically it is explained that we all love ourselves, therefore, we are all narcissistic by nature, just there are spectrums. The difference between a clinical NPD with those who don’t is how their love for themselves affects other people, or to be more accurate, how this love for themselves affects how they interact with other people.
I acknowledge that I love myself. I love the conditions that are bestowed upon myself. I love how my intellect helps me realize things people don’t. I love my curiosity about the universe and how the world really works in physics world. I actually am curious about things supernatural, but there are not many reliable documented sources about that. I also love the blessing that I have with my physique. Although I’m not at the top tier, but I would put myself somewhere about 8 relative to people around me, and maybe 6-7 relative to people in the world. See? Narcissist enough?
But sometimes I also hate myself. To be accurate, I hate the self that decides to do the stupid things I did, if that makes sense. I also hate myself for all the weakness that I have. I used to hate myself for being so introverted, but now I’m not anymore. Yeah, just like that.
But I think (one of) the worst kind of a person is a narcissist at the point they will be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). Those people that don’t consider other people at all, unless those other people benefit themselves. Like she’s the center of the world where other people should revolve around her, and their problems don’t matter, only hers.
Looking back, as I was a teenager, I can only remember that I was angry at all times.
It’s not just hormones. Mostly it was a feeling of helplessness, a feeling of wanting to understand something: the world and how it works, but having no guidance. A feeling of wanting to be understood, but no one understands you. And as a teenager, your words were mostly underestimated. The adults thought you are not yet worthy to talk serious things with them.
Also in my case, there was a case of trying to fit in. For example, helping my friends cheated during exam, because of a feeling of wanting to feel accepted as part of a group. Wanting to be accepted was a normal thing as a human to feel. After all, we are a social being. But as a teenager, the friends at school were all the friends that I had. Being accepted by them is put on a pedestal of importance.
There was also another thing back when I was a teenager. First of all, disclaimer, I acted very goofily and stupidly (until now actually lmao), probably like an autistic person. And actually, even undiagnosed, I believe I am somewhat in that spectrum. Maybe between 1 and 10, I am at 2 or 3. That other thing when I was a teenager, was that I didn’t have a lot of friends to choose. My class consisted of 17 people. And I was one of the uncool ones. I didn’t know any new trend, I know nothing about brands, I know nothing about cars, all because first of all I was not rich. And then at that time I really didn’t care about those things at all. But because of that, I was not a part of the “cool” friends, but somehow they could still bear with me because of my academic excellence. Because I was uncool, I wanted to be part of that group so much, to be seen as “cool.” Then I tried to fit in. By doing the stupid things they did, although some of them were fun, I also did miserable things, for example when that time I was asked to be invited to someone’s sweet 17 party but I was not actually invited.
“WHY THE HECK DID I DO THAT?”
But through all of those mental challenges in the past, now I build my own personality. From seeing how people underestimate timid people, I know learn to be assertive. By seeing how people more often than not take for granted a nice but weak person, I choose to be strong. By seeing other things, I learned from them and choose on how I should become. I imagined myself as a robot learning things to acquire. And since I had become all those person, now I am a very “chameleony” person. Let’s say I could act. I could pretend to be someone I’m not, although I always kept my core values intact. Yeah, if you’re reading this and you know me, I think you know what my values are as a person. What I say my values are are not important, the important thing is how I am in a real life and how I interact with you.
Sometimes I wish I could divide myself, then the other me would be responsible as an uncertified psychologist or counsellor at some school, then I would teach the students about life and how it works, having experienced it. Because with my empathetic nature, I would be awesome at that, and I had been told by my private students when I made a private course when I was in high school, that I was a very good teacher. As I understood, I was able to position myself as someone who didn’t understand the courses, I was able to do this to an almost perfect degree, and I would guide them to understand them with simple logics.
This is a philosophical question many couldn’t answer.
But through this writing, I will write what I think about this question and what my answer be.
When I try to answer this question, first of all, there must be a definite definition about good and bad.
What dictates a thing to be good and bad?
This is a question that is hard to answer, because it will lead to longer discussion about what is universally good and universally bad.
Killing is bad, self defense is good.
There are many things that I imagine, if we discuss what is good and bad, it will lead to endless debate.
That’s why I will ignore those definitions altogether, and I will challenge the question itself.
The humans are neither good nor bad, there must be a definition, a new word, that best describes the characteristics of humans. For me personally, I think humans are “human” has a good ring to it.
To be honest, I think it is easy to answer this question if we learn why and how humans get their behavior. It is easy to be understood, if we know how evolution shaped our behavior. How evolution leads humans to us.
First of all, as I mentioned, the question whether we are inherently good or bad is not important, leads to a very subjective answer, and actually unanswerable, because humans are neither inherently good nor bad. By giving an answer to either humans are inherently good or humans are inherently bad, we have done wrong by giving simplification to factually complex reality of humans. We are neither, we are simply a product of evolution that is still evolving.
If we are hungry, we will try to find food and eat it to stay alive.
Maternal instinct to protect their babies comes from evolution. Without it, our babies wouldn’t survive. The mothers that don’t have strong maternal instinct get removed from gene pool. That’s why most mothers have maternal instinct (not all, because deviation will always happen).
There are some animals whose mother eat their children, for example hamster. Let’s say the cute little hamster doesn’t have maternal instinct, or to be more accurate, less developed. But they can still survive to this day. Because the instinct to eat their children is the way for their survival. Maybe the children are too many and where hamster evolves in the past, there are limited resources. Just maybe. I’m sure there are more accurate explanation than that.
If we are hungry and resources are limited, evolution guides us to be egoistic to survive, and of course there are deviations, there are still selfless people out there.
If we are full, have many resources, evolution guides us to be kind, helpful, because we humans can become the superior (dominating) species through cooperation. Without cooperation, maybe our kind is still prey to lions and tigers.
That’s why I think humans possess both of these qualities. All for survival. In each person, there is a battle between those qualities, the qualities that people call “good”, and the qualities people call “bad.” Good people can do bad things, vice versa, bad people can do good things. That’s as I mentioned two times already, definition of good and bad isn’t important at all. Humans do “human” things. Or in other words, if inherently means deep inside, then humans are inherently yin and yang. Let’s say yin represents bad and yang represents good (although it’s not true lmao.) Eliminating yin altogether is unwise, because humans do need yin to survive this far. If we are too altruistic or too yang, we would definitely be gone from gene pool, just like those animals in Australia that were too peaceful they become extinct, one of them is Dodo.
I am blessed.
Just this afternoon, when riding my motorcycle, I dropped the phone in a crowded road.
The vehicles were not speeding, but nevertheless there are lots of them.
I was lucky to have this one truck driver, stopping right in front of my phone, letting the panic me who stopped in the middle of the road to take the phone.
I thanked him multiple times, bowing as a sign of respect, something I learned from the Japanese.
The fact that I dropped my phone, I didn’t realize it happened at all.
What I acknowledge to happen is the fact that my phone is okay when it could have been crushed by wheels.
That’s why I’m blessed.
Not because I’m lucky.
Not because trouble seems to be away from me.
But from the fact that I remove all misfortunes from my memory, and only remember the good things.
This way, my life is happier, and I can share my happiness to other people.
Goofythinker