I am blessed.
Just this afternoon, when riding my motorcycle, I dropped the phone in a crowded road.
The vehicles were not speeding, but nevertheless there are lots of them.
I was lucky to have this one truck driver, stopping right in front of my phone, letting the panic me who stopped in the middle of the road to take the phone.
I thanked him multiple times, bowing as a sign of respect, something I learned from the Japanese.

The fact that I dropped my phone, I didn’t realize it happened at all.
What I acknowledge to happen is the fact that my phone is okay when it could have been crushed by wheels.

That’s why I’m blessed.

Not because I’m lucky.

Not because trouble seems to be away from me.

But from the fact that I remove all misfortunes from my memory, and only remember the good things.

This way, my life is happier, and I can share my happiness to other people.

When I’m number 2, I’ll feel like I’m the loser to number 1, not realizing I’m still the winner to thousands or millions of others.

Money brings you happiness, especially when you’re deprived of it.

Candide or if translated, means optimism, is a book by Voltaire, a philosopher/thinker/whatever that means. Basically when Voltaire wrote this book, there was an ongoing philosophy by Leibniz, a church goer, which dictated that since God is benevolent, everything that has happened to us is the possible best thing.

When Voltaire wrote this book, he basically challenged the church, a dangerous move that could get his head on spikes, but he wrote it in such a way that it seemed harmless since it’s a fiction.

In this book, the main character, Candide, is not smart but very optimistic. He believed the Leibniz teaching since it was taught by his philosophy teacher, Dr. Pangloss, even though shit-tons of misfortunes have happened. Having finished this book will have you thinking a few things.

For me myself, the insight I got is:

Don’t judge someone based on intelligence.
See through the naivety.
Yes, there is evil in this world.
But some people are born pure.
Spare some space, give them a break.
Always see through the character.
Beneath that flesh, bone, and organs.
There is one invisible heart.
That connects us all beings.
After all, we are one.

Writing this is easy. But after imagining my annoying aunt who kept asking me when I got married, and another aunt who despised me because I rejected her proposal to match me with a distant relative, I find it very difficult to do so.

I have my own rhythm, my own habit, and other personal things that I like.
Once I contemplated that if someone else comes into my life and start dictating what I should do and shouldn’t do.
How dare she?

Then recently I just watched a short film “Long Story Short” episode 2.
Inside, basically there is a conflict between a brother and a sister.
At one scene, the sister points out his brother’s bad habits, like not checking in with his family, or he’s too egoistic.
Sometimes we have bad habits.
And by connecting with someone close,
those bad habits can be pointed out, therefore it can help us grow
to become a better version of ourselves.

I have read the whole book.

Yes as I have mentioned in part 1, basically it doesn’t answer my curiosity of how love between two people works. Instead it tells me the nature of love, which in itself is not romantic love at all. It is a state of being, of metta, of universal love. The feeling of wanting someone to feel happiness. He emphasizes us to have this kind of love be built upon ourselves.

His take on relationship between two people is very wise and it feels like it comes from true love: loving yourself first then you love another person. But the be honest it’s nothing I don’t already know, like respecting boundaries, lowering expectations, go easy on people, etc. But maybe for some people who do a little thinking or if you listen to relationship gurus who tells you the bare minimums for men, you should definitely read this book and rewire your brain before it’s too late.

The only thing I hoped were answered in this book was how people fall (or as he preferred, rise) in love in the first place. This one was not found in his book. Maybe if you know someone is the one, you will know, thus its absence.

is between Phil and Claire. Respectful to each other.
Maybe relationship is not that complicated.
We just do it, and solve the problems ahead.
Problems stem from bad communication.
Things we’re afraid to say.
Sometimes even after good communication, there are still problems.
The next problem is immaturity.
Given good communication between each other,
relationship should have been going well.
We share our discomfort, and we find the middle ground, i.e. compromise.
But someone who’s immature, stays in place, not moving from where she stands.
Always her wishes that must be granted.
Or she takes, takes, and takes, never gives.
Because she thinks that’s what women are supposed to do.
I admit I’m immature, too.
Why would I leave the comfort I’m having right now,
and increase my spending by two fold or maybe thrice?
Maybe the key component I’m missing is love itself.
If I really love someone, things like that wouldn’t bother me at all.
Just like what other people do, who are willing to sacrifice everything,
even their own life,
for their lover.

When reading this book, I kinda get a sense of what the author wants us to be like, or in another word, what the author is like, if in his life he practices what he writes.

Imagine someone you know, whose mind is always positive. Some who’s always avoid thinking negatively about another person. Someone who’s vulnerable, brave, cheerful, unafraid of love, be the first one to approach people, who’s a radiant sun to people around him, who’s emotionally mature, who’s understanding, you never worry about saying wrong things to him/her, and an anchor to ships during deadly storm.

While writing this, a song from Amy Winehouse was playing: Love is A Losing Game.

Love is a losing game
One I wished I never played
Oh, what a mess we made
And now, the final frame
Love is a losing game

I love this song as it teaches us one of love’s core: whoever loses, they win.

Am I selfish?
If I make my niece laugh
not only to make her happy
but because I enjoy seeing her laugh
in the end, what I do bring happiness back to me

if making her happy
put me in a miserable position
no, I won’t do it

with this intention and realization
am I self serving?